(i've started writing a "novel" of sorts, which seems more like glorified journal entries about my life's "list", or all the things that have made me. here's #8, life goal #1, which should be read while listening to albertine by brooke fraser.)
#8 on my list/Life Goal #1/Brooke Fraser-Albertine
I’ve never ever wanted to be a teacher. I settled on it because it was the closest thing I could find to being a youth pastor. God has given me a heart, and I believe that He wants me to give it to high school students. I frequently visit my sister in school so I can socialize with high school kids. During my brief time in Young Life, I literally could not be happier. I loved going to musicals, soccer games, art exhibits, all in hopes that I could pour myself into one or two girls the way my mentor had done for me in high school. (she’s on the list too, but closer to #1, you’ll learn more about her later) I managed to connect with a few girls, some while I was still in high school, and a few afterwards. I know playing favorites is sinful, but my favorites were Rachel, Lisa, Michelle, and my sisters friends Caitlin, Jordan, and Anna. Rachel was this amazingly hip indie girl who is the most amazing girl I’ve met thus far in my life. By age 17, she had a belly ring, an industrial, and size 00 gauges. She had a great haircut. More than anything, she loved God, and she could care less about anything else. To her, anything else was irrelevant. She loved Gossip Girl, lavender ice cream, and cigarettes after sunset. She was my ministry for a while. While I was getting to know Rachel, Lisa came into my life. Lisa was awesome. She loved LOVED Chuck Klosterman, Manchester Orchestra, and bubble tea. She was everything I wish I would have been at her age. She knew what she wanted out of life, and she cut through all the crap everyone threw at her. She was smart, funny, and love was her religion. And then there was the girl I had known the longest, Michelle. Michelle was amazing, and was one of my first close friends in high school. Even though she was a year younger than me, I felt like we clicked the most.
All of my sisters’ friend will have their own chapter. All you need to know is they were great.
When I found out I wouldn’t be able to become a Young Life leader, I began volunteering at the Blitz junior high ministry at my church. At first I just made smoothies, then I began to lead a small group of amazing 7th grade girls. They certainly kept me in line, and I did the same for them. This is where I realized that I would be happy wherever I was as long as I was with kids at church. It could be anywhere. One night, I had a dream I was in Africa, and I woke up and changed my major. It wasn’t a drastic change, history to political science, but my end goal was to be a missionary. I love God so much, and I want to love people just as much. One of my favorite worship songs illustrates this perfectly. It went, “Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love as You have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for Your kingdoms cause.”
Another song that totally goes there was written by an Aussie named Brooke Fraser, who also sang the aforementioned worship song. She penned “Albertine” after mission work. My favorite line goes like this: “Now that I have seen, I am responsible, faith without deeds is dead.” That’s it, in it’s most basic form. I’m thinking of just getting that printed on a business card along with my name and twitter url. I mean, all of the most vital information about my existence would literally be on one card. How convenient, right?
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